If you have decided to study abroad in Chile and are coming down on a program through your university, odds are, you will end up living with a Chilean host family. Let me just tell you that living with a Chilean family is not the same as living with mom and dad back in the US. Family dynamics here are very different. And, of course, no two families are the same in any country. Much of your experience depends on the type of family you end up with. Some Chilean families have had scores of other gringos living with them before so they will be more likely to accommodate a lifestyle you are used to. Some Chilean families don’t alter their routines or lifestyles at all and you’ll just have to adapt to blend in with them. And some, it must be said, only host gringos for the money it brings in.
For now, I’ll just talk about it what it is like living with a stereotypical Chilean family, but I repeat, this does not apply for every Chilean family. I’m over generalizing. I’m also going to focus more on Chilean moms than dads because the moms tend to interact much more with their exchange students.
Be prepared to feel like your privacy is being constantly invaded. Chilean moms can be very overbearing. They do it with the best of intentions, but it’s often stifling for gringos who are not used to constant supervision and mothering.
See, let me explain something. In Chile, young people tend to live with their parents until they graduate from college (which takes longer than in the states, most degree take up to 6 years to complete if you include the writing of a thesis). Sometimes kids even continue to live at home until they get married. This results in a lot of 30 year old Chileans who don’t know how to do their own laundry. In the US, at 18 years of age, we go out into the world and beginning testing the waters of our independence during dorm living. Then we graduate around the age of 22, 23, for most and start living on our own. Since Chilean kids live with their parents until the late 20’s, early 30’s in some cases, Chilean moms don’t think of their gringo exchange student as an adult, they think of their gringo as just another child in the household who needs to be looked after, regardless of age.
Back to what you can expect…often times Chilean moms will enter your room while you’re gone and clean. And by clean, I mean, organize all your stuff, handle your private belongings, and not think twice about it. I had been in Chile for one day, I went out to find a bank, and when I came back my entire suitcase had been unpacked by my Chilean mom and I didn’t know where anything was. I was so embarrassed to think that she had been through all luggage and handled my underwear, tampons and other ahem, very private items. It’s not that your host mom just wants to know what the crazy gringo brought to Chile; she’s not being nosy or snooping through your stuff. Organizing and cleaning their child’s room is something that a lot of Chilean mothers do. Oh, and leaving your door closed is considered rude, so try to leave it open as much as possible.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard gringos complain, “My host mom is SUFFOCATING ME.” You might feel like your privacy is being intruded upon, but that is not what your host mother’s intention is. Grin and bear it, she means well.
Because your host mom is used to having kids of college age living in her house, she is probably accustomed to typical college kid behavior, and that means drinking. Although Chile is considered a fairly conservative country, I have found that most Chileans are very relaxed when it comes to alcohol consumption. Now, I’m not recommending that you go out, get wasted, stagger back to your house, ring the doorbell at 4am because you forgot your keys and make a huge drunken scandal. But, I am saying, don’t be ashamed to let her know that you’re going out for drinks and probably won’t be back until late. Chilean moms usually like to keep track of their exchange students (after all, they are responsible for you), so they are constantly asking where you’re going. Don’t lie like you would to your own uptight parents in the US, tell the truth. In fact, the next day your Chilean mom might even come and bring you breakfast in bed since she knows you probably have a hangover from all the pisco you drank.
Chilean moms always want you to eat more, and more and more of the food they serve you. And if you don’t say yes to seconds, thirds and fourths, they may get very offended. Try to be delicate when you refuse…unless you want to develop “el rollo de pan,” as Chileans call love handles. Usually if you flatter their cooking skills while turning down that third helping of mashed potatoes, you can get out of the situation with no harm done. But, if you just flat out say, “No thank you, I’m too full,” you may start to see tears well up in your hosts moms’ eyes. She’ll assume you’re turning her offer down because you didn’t like her cooking.
Be prepared to be constantly offended. If you gain a pound, your Chilean family will notice, and will tease you mercilessly. No topic regarding physical appearance is off-limits, including weight. Chileans can be brutal! If you are overweight they will affectionately call you “Gordito/a,” which means fatty. If you’re dark skinned they’ll call you “Negrito/a,” which means black. These are considered terms of endearment. Do not be surprised if they tell you that you’re looking tired, sickly, horrible and stressed out, fatter, thinner…whatever. In this country it’s not considered rude to comment on other people’s physical appearance.
Your Chilean brother and/or sister may or may not be completely uninterested in your presence in their house. When I first found out the stats on my Chilean family, I was ecstatic to learn that I’d have a Chilean sister about my age. I imagined that she would show me around, we’d go out for Happy Hour together, we’d braid each other’s hair, and she’d teach me Spanish. Ummm, no. That didn’t happen. My Chilean sister could not have cared less about me living in her house. I was gringa #8 for the family, and she honestly didn’t seem to notice I existed. On the other hand, some of my friends became really close with their host brothers/sisters. They were lucky enough that their host sibling took them under their wing. Again, it all depends on the individual family. But, if your host bro/sis isn’t interested in you, try not to take it personally. Just remember, they already have their own close knit group of friends and they know you are a temporary part of their lives. It’s like when you go in blind to living with someone in a dorm. You hope you get along great and become best friends…but it might not happen because you two didn’t choose each other and sometimes two personalities don’t click. Them being indifferent does not mean they hate you, it just means they like to do their own thing.
Chilean families are often close with many, MANY members of their extended families. So your Chilean family might plan a shindig so you can meet the tens of thousands of people who are all either “primos,” cousins, or “tios/as,” aunts and uncles of the family. Don’t worry, you won’t be expected to remember all their names. Don’t feel overwhelmed, they are usually just curious about you and want to welcome you!
And you can expect that on the weekends you may have to participate in what my Chilean husband calls, “los almuerzos eternos,” or the never-ending lunches. He hates this tradition but I love it. Chilean families will often sit down to eat lunch on the weekends around 2 or even 3. You can expect people to start getting up from the table around the time that in the US people start eating dinner. Yes, sometimes you get up from lunch around 6pm. But, lunch is about more than just eating, it’s about socializing. Since lunch is the main meal in Chile and during the week the families probably aren’t able to lunch together because of conflicting work and school schedules, they do some serious catching up on the weekends 
If you are going to live with a Chilean host family, remember that they are welcoming you into their home. Try to be grateful for that. My advice to you is what I would say regarding any aspect of your trip-keep an open mind.
